So lately I've been getting really depressed an sad becuase i tend to disappoint the people around me. For instance...Yesterday I planned to go to Disneyland with Kim and I found out that I have a board meeting tomrrow and I called her asap and told herI couldn't go. She got so mad and upset she basically took out all her anger out on me. I felt super bad but thers nothing I could do .
Anywho lately I feel like I can't trust anybody anymore.. I feel like people are judging me in a bad way. Maybe the way they look at me or the way they speak to me. I know I tend to act stupid and dumb sometimes but still that doesn't mean you coulld treat me like shit and make fun of me. I have feelings too. I feel like I'm constantly being talked about maybe becaouse I'm self concious.. iduno...
Another thing I can't fully sleep at night..I constantly have nighmares where my body goes numb and I wake up with sore arms and legs.. I'm constantly crying in my sleep and I just want my mom to be by my side.. I have no father and I'm constantly cursing at him and yelling at him in my dreams. I feel so alone sometimes and I need to start a new life for myself. I think the best possibly is to move to another state and start a new life...
Other than that everytime I think about someone something else catches my attention maybe that means that it wasn't meant to be if I'm getting all these signals. I really hope that this guy isn't a jerk and understands the way I am. I'm going to sleep now..hopefully my feelings will change tomrrow..\
and if any of you have something to say about my blogs f*&k you cuz this my blog and your reading it...you don't have to read this... okay..im done letting my emotions out.
goodnight
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awww i was just looking around and i found your blog. feel better lovey.. everything's going to be alright. i'm here if you need anything. take care and hope to see you soon =]
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